My Belle

When I was a sophomore at OSU, I moved into a studio apartment and got a cat. I was gone quite a bit, so after awhile, I got him a friend. And let's be honest - I went to our family vet, who had rescued some kittens and came across this sweet, tiny, gray cat with the sweetest face. I picked her up to play with her, and she just curled into my neck and purred and snuggled with me. I was sold. That's how I came to have Belle. Luc wasn't sold - it took him a long time to warm up to her. She was a ton of fun and the sweetest kitten imaginable. She loved people and wanted to be the center of everything. She has so many quirks, so many unique qualities that make her so lovable and mine.






Since that July in 2002, the three of us have been through a great deal together. They moved to Utah with me. They endured all of my many experiences between college and grad school. When I would come home and cry, Belle would curl up next to me and purr while Luc tried to lay on my head and stretch his paw across my face. Back in the day when I had a desktop computer, Belle would lay next to the keyboard and purr while I worked on whatever I was doing. She has always had to be in the same room I'm in, and if she can be laying next to me, things are even better. They moved to Vermont with me when Casey and I got married, and the three of us hated it together, especially Belle. And when we moved back to Oklahoma, she became My Belle again - Casey thought we'd gotten an entirely new cat. She is generally relaxed, loves to just lay out and relax. She's a pretty big cat, and she gained a great deal of weight when I lived in Utah. She lost a couple of pounds in Vermont. And she's lost 3 pounds since we moved back to Oklahoma in May.

I took her to the vet last week, where the vet did x-rays and discovered something in her chest that was impeding her breathing and recommended I go to the OSU Vet Med Teaching Hospital. So I did that today with my dad. My appointment was at 9:00 AM. We left Stillwater at 5:00 PM. And the conclusion after meeting with 2 students, 2 specialists, 2 ultrasounds, extracting cells from her chest cavity and a pathologist studying the cells is this: My Belle is dying. She has a mass in her chest cavity that has pushed her heart to the side and is squishing her lungs so significantly she has started breathing through an open mouth. Surgery and chemo could remove the tumor, but there's no way I could afford the surgery. I would do anything to save My Belle. She is often one of the best things about my day. I can't imagine what life is going to be like without her. The vet thinks she could live 2 weeks to a couple of months without surgery. So we're going to make the best of it. I'm going to cry a lot of tears. And my heart is going to break a little bit every day. But she is definitely something I am thankful for every day. She's a love, and I have been so blessed to have such a special cat in my life. (And yes, I do know I am the crazy cat lady.)